I really don’t get it. What makes us human? Why are we here?

But really who cares. To me, I’ve always thought of myself and my life as an empty jar of nothingness. No fun. Not interesting. I’ve attempted to see more to it but again… empty. Like looking through a never ending tunnel. Dark. Empty. Echoes.

I really feel sorry to the unfortunate people living through their lives. Working hard to live and here I am; not a single fuck given whether I live or die. There is not a day I did not thought of dying. Until the time I met her. She lighten up the dark tunnel that I’ve always thought I could not see through. She filled the empty jar with joy and entertainment.

Though I feel good now, there are still days that I wished I have never existed. It feels like I am just a burden. Those thoughts have always reminded me who I really am, an empty body. A jar. A tunnel that cannot be seen what it is like in the other side.

If someday she’s gone and left me, I will look back to those memories that finally made me happier; content. Turns out that there are things that I cannot do on my own. I cannot fill this empty jar. I cannot give the light I need to see through my thoughts. I cannot live on my own. I am not going to make it without that light. Life. Death. They’re all the same to me. Its a curse that you have to lift against your shoulder.

7:00 pm  •  11 March 2013

Today she gazed as me as if she wanted to stab me. It was a weird feeling seeing her eyes as if they wanted their sight to pierce right through my soul.

Just hope that I will live by the end of this night.

I must make some preparation.

10:42 pm  •  16 September 2012

Go fuck yourself, you and your shitty fate that you have for me. Damn I am the biggest dumb ass in the world. Please surprise me more with those shitty destiny bull shit that you have ready for me. Also while you’re there I need to tell you that I am sick of myself.

Cheers to all fuck ups and people who are disowned by society. I am going to drink till afternoon for every fuck ups I know. Fuck yes.

3:48 am  •  20 July 2012  •  1 note

What do you want me to do? I really don’t know what you want now.

Is thinking about you every seconds is not enough for you? Is every moment I wish to be with you not worth knowing? 

Tell me. Please. I really love you, and I don’t what is up with you lately.

Just tell me what’s the matter with you and I’ll be alright. 

2:10 pm  •  8 April 2012

I want her now.

9:51 pm  •  7 April 2012

I don’t know… but I think it’s just the way she is. She gets into random moods which sometimes get me confused because I have no idea what is going on. Sometimes I just blame myself in which makes me think what I did wrong recently. 

I just want to see her and be with her now. So this stupid feeling that I get goes away. I want to hug her and kiss her until she is smiling, hold her hands until she tells me that she loves me…

I love you.

A lot.

And it hurts missing you.

I want to be with you, right now.

5:05 pm  •  7 April 2012

I really don’t know what to do right now. I seriously don’t.

1:17 am  •  2 April 2012

I wish that I don’t annoy you everytime that I am tired. I always say that I am going to make you the happiest girl ever but then I make you feel bad.

I don’t care if you don’t want me to change but I hope that my wishes come true because I really want you to be happy with me. I may not be that good as your boyfriend but I hope that you can see that I am trying really hard.

I miss you…

11:35 pm  •  27 March 2012

Even if our moods can get hot or cold I am very happy that I am with her. I wish to continue to be together till the rest of out lives. If only I can spend time with her more even just for a few hour, I’ll feel better and be okay for the rest of the day. But yeah spending the rest of our lives together will do as well!

2:14 am  •  13 March 2012

When I am far away from her it feels like she is a lightyear too far away from me. But it doesn’t make me stop loving her, in fact my love grows even stronger even though we are too far away from each other. I just hope that she is always alright even though I am not right by her side.

If only its possible to be with her every seconds I’d be glad to be with her every single moment and every single milliseconds of the time that we are together. kilometre, miles, lightyears or how ever far away she is from me, I will always love her and be the man that will care and have her.

12:23 am  •  2 March 2012